28-11-2013

A Scottish Van Driver’s witty exchange with two Scottish Police Constables has become a viral video hit on Youtube.

Pulled over by the police who suspect him of using a mobile phone while driving, the driver who identifies himself as ‘John son of David’, refuses to give the Police officers any of the details they asked for, on the basis of numerous ‘legally valid’ assertions.

When asked for his name and date of birth so that the Police could check his Insurance details, ‘John son of David’s’ responses were:

‘I’m not driving today, at this point in time I am simply travelling.’
‘I can’t remember coming out my mother’s water.’
‘The birth certificate is crown copyright and I cannot use that. You’re asking me to commit fraud.’

Showing the patience of a saint, one policeman, referring to the van driver’s giggling girlfriend who is filming the entire encounter, asks:“See this lady here, does she ever buy you a card once a year?

“And if so, when does that happen?”

After getting a date of birth and address, one of the officers tells the driver that he will dedicate a chapter to him in his book.

Asked by the man if he enjoys his job, the policeman quips: “I used to enjoy it - up until about 20 minutes ago.”

He then says to the driver: “You better not be putting this up on YouTube.”

When told it would be going online, the PC has a laugh saying he’s“Tam, son of wee Bobby fae the Calton”.

He stresses that it’s “wee Bobby” because“big Bobby is in the same street and you dinnae want to confuse the two of them”.

A police spokesman said: “A 44-year-old man is subject of a report to the procurator fiscal in connection with an alleged road traffic offence on November 6.”